25 Supersized Animals Almost Too Fat To Function

Get a load of this Distractify list of 25 Supersized Animals Almost Too Fat To Function. These animals give a whole new meaning to the phrase “holy cow, that animal is exceptionally fat.” It’s almost exactly like the old meaning, but this one connotes that the animals in question are on a Distractify list called “25 Supersized Animals Almost Too Fat To Function.” Okay, maybe it’s a stretch to say that it gives a new meaning that phrase. You could maybe say that it alters the meaning slightly; contextualizes it. Yes, I think that’s probably a better way to put it. Let’s try that again.

Get a load of this Distractify list of 25 Supersized Animals Almost Too Fat To Function. These animals somewhat alter the meaning of the phrase “holy cow, that animal is exceptionally fat,” by couching that term in the novelty of a unique contextual setting. You’re right, it just doesn’t have the same oomph, does it? Okay, forget it, we’ll just drop the whole “changes the meaning” bit and I’ll tell you an anecdote from my childhood.

When I was a child I lived near the water and there was a morbidly obese seal that would hang out near this one particular spot on the end of a pier. The seal had memorized a valuable equation, one that the animals on this Distractify list are all too familiar with: humans = food. It spent most of its time snacking on fish thrown to it by bored tourists and local children. The point of this story? Years of non-stop feasting combined with a sedentary lifestyle had left the seal untenably fat, completely incapable of fending for itself in the wild, and unable to do the most basic of seal things. Lucky for it, it didn’t really need to: it just hung out at the dock all day and got fat. Click the link below to see some pictures of animals that have found a similar gravy train, and check out some of Distractify’s other great content while you’re there.


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